I can’t believe the thought of withdrawing from this class even crossed my mind, but it did. And not just withdrawing from this class, but dropping out of the program altogether. Dropping out of grad school… again. The first time I dropped out of the MPA program because I felt that my career and my educational pursuits were not aligned, and I was having a hard time balancing what felt like two different and separate worlds.
When I enrolled in the M.Ed. program, I thought it was going to compliment a career move for me into the training field. Unfortunately, my desired career switch was ill-timed. The job market has been such for the last couple of years that employers are no longer thinking outside the box when it comes to filling job vacancies. If they’re looking for a training professional, they’re going to hire someone with that exact background because there are so many good professionals out there who do that. There is no need for a company to invest in someone who has a strong business background but needs to learn the specifics when such an experienced pool of available candidates exists. So I turned my job search back to where my strength and experience lies in Marketing, so I am again feeling some distance between work and school, but I see enough commonality that I don’t think they are mutually exclusive.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy being in school. Our classroom discussions are exciting and fascinating for me. Desire and motivation are not lacking. What is lacking is simply a matter of time. Even if I’m able to keep up with the readings for class, I find that that’s all I’m doing — getting the reading done. I’m not finding or making the time to reflect on what I’m reading, so I’m compartmentalizing the ideas into their own spaces in my mind instead of stringing together the concepts into a framework for adult learning.
I don’t know what the answer is because work will always take up the biggest portion of my time, thus leaving the rest of my time to be split among my work with the rescue group (my ultimate passion), school, and just life in general (cooking, cleaning, errands, etc.). I still feel that this program is going to be beneficial for me no matter what career path I’m on, so I guess I need to figure out the right way to study so that my learning is significant and meaningful.