Aimlessly wandering

20 Sep

I had a really hard time writing my educational biography.  Well, more like I had a hard time finding a path or common thread in my educational biography.  Sometimes I feel as though I’m going through life letting life happen to me rather than making my own way.  Maybe that leaves me open to exploring opportunities I wouldn’t have otherwise considered, but I wonder if I’ll get to the end (however that gets defined) and wish I’d done something different.  At the risk of sounding like a complete cliché, maybe for me it is all about the journey, and the destination is inconsequential?  But I’m jealous at time when I listen to my classmates talk about their teaching experiences or how they’re excited to take something new they’ve learned and incorporate it into their own practice.  I’m more like a sponge just taking it all in right now and hoping I’ll remember some of it when the time comes… if the time comes.  One of these days I’ll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Postscript (added 9/26/10):

It was interesting to read the except from my blog in the summary handed out in class.  It struck me that the excerpt from my blog sounded very “external” (going through life letting it happen to me), and yet I typically think of my self as having an internal locus of control, esp. when I think back on how I faced my recent period of unemployment.  I wonder if this inconsistency is part of the unsettled feelings I have about my life now because I’m thinking I am taking control over my situation but in actuality, I’m not, or at least not to the extent I think I am.  Definitely something to ponder more.

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Posted by on September 20, 2010 in ADLT 601


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